i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
