Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
