totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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