I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
