she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
