what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The ass gains better be worth it
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