actually, I'm a sock model
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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