Four minutes until I can fart!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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