i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
