I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
