oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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