So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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