32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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