I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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