some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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