Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
