i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
