i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
