the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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