do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
