No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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