My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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