I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
