I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
