I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
