U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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