what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
