my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
