He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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