I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
