i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
