he wants to bone in the snuggie
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
