But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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