i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
