all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
