I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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