You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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