Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
