Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
