He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
