that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
