WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
