You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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