it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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