oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
