I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
