My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
