I CAN MOONWALK!
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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