Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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