At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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