I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
