I'm really into asian looking animals
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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