Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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