Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
